God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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