North Korea, Best Korea!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize