Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
