I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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