whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
