I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Operation Purity has been aborted
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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