I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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