FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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