it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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