I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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