you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
