with your own penis?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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