Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
