We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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