I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
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I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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