people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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