I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
