no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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