He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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