I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize