You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
