I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
