you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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