Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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