hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
