Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
