SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
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I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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