Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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