so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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