I think I won the penis lottery.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
