So drunk its hurt
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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