Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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