I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
