Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize