Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize