so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
