I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
