I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize