How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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