so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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