please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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