VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
