why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
