You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
