...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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