Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
