i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
