You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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