I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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