Heybabeimwearingurpanties
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
