There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
