get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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