I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
