I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
