i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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