one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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