SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
