Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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