Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
only you would photoshop your dick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
