Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
