Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
