It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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