i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
